I've meant to mention that there was another death in my module. The guy was on the 2nd shift. Let me explain. There are 3 shifts of 6 patients per module. I am on 1st shift, module 6. 1st shift starts at 5:30 AM. I am the last person to get hooked up on my shift. My time is 6:30 AM. We run anywhere from 3 to 5 hours. I run 3.5 hours. Being last in, I am one of the last off. Big guy across from me is 4-4.5 hours. He's on when I arrive and still on or just getting off when I get off. (Lol. That didn't sound right). Anyway, 2nd shift patients are arriving and being hooked up while I'm still dialyzing or coming off. This has allowed me to get to know the 2nd shift patients as well as my first shift comrades.
The Dramatics, "Be My Girl". 2nd shift is the drama shift, if you know what I mean. Lol. Anyway, there are 2 older gentlemen with similar names. Both have had strokes and are pretty low key. One had been gone for a while late last year, but he was back after the first of the this year. Then he was gone again. I asked how he was doing? I was told he died the previous Friday. :-( I told Brian that neither older gentleman, nor sweet old lady, who died earlier this year, looked any different the last time I saw them. One day they were here. The next they were gone. Their chairs were reassigned and we go on.
Soul Survivors, "Expressway to Your Heart". "At 5 o'clock it's much too crowded." I just found out they were white guys! Lol. Well, it 1967 and I was listening to the radio and has just started buying 45s. A couple of others in 2nd shift have medical issues in addition to ESRD or caused ESRD. Diabetes and lupus are not uncommon with the patients. In addition there are heart problems, amputees and a higher prevalence of cancer than I would have imagined. And there probably more medical conditions than I don't know. This affects attitudes and I understand why some patients are...testy. Here I have to be careful about the info. Patients have shared this info with me, but I don't and won't identify them. HIPAA. I'm not clear that as a patient if I am bound by HIPPA, but I'd like to respect the confidentiality of my fellow patients. Everyone is not an open book like me.
Today I am having a review which includes my team: my nephrologist, my social worker, my dietician, and the head nurse. I had to take a "test" which measures my acceptance of ESRD. I took it last year and thought I was dealing with it pretty well. Lol. I apparently wasn't dealing with it as well as I thought. A Pat bubble, I guess. Lol. We'll see the results of this years test soon. I think I'm more realistic this year. I think I didn't have to process it as I was dealing with the death of my mom. Now that it's a year later, I'm dealing more with mom, dad is settling in, Shawn is off to school Brian and I can exhale. I'm also more realistic about ESRD. My kidneys are done. They will not recover. I probably will not get a live kidney donor. I will have to wait for some time to get a cadaver kidney. I will have addition medical problems, associated with ESRD and dialysis. I can accept that. I also know what to do to minimize a lot of risks and I learn more everyday.
Kool Moe Dee, "Wild Wild West". ;-) 20 year old rap. Lol. No shame. Yes sometimes I get depressed, but I get pulled up by my friends and family and then I'm looking for a new adventure. Like we're going to give ballroom dancing a try. Or finding my next trip. Or moving to Vegas. Or building a team to walk with me for the Nation Kidney Foundation. Or helping plan our high school reunion. Or finding new recipes. Or going to Denver for a wedding. I'm really looking forward to that. Never been there!!! Yes, there are some sobering realities, but I'm not rolling over. Apparently I have to much too do, despite ESRD. :)
Signing off with Whitney Houston, "I'm Your Baby Tonight". 4-7 inches of snow today. Really? It was 50 degrees yesterday. ;-( lol. People haven't been able to get their Christmas decorations down. Lol. Have a great day. Tell your local robins it'll be be ok soon. :)
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