The "It Started Out OK Then It Went South. Boo", edition.

iPad shuffled to  Vanessa Williams, "Dreamin'".  Isn't she just a great entertainer?  And gorgeous too.  I was thinking about my health then and now. I wasn't scared once I was told my kidneys had failed , but I felt I was stepping into the unknown.  And I was.  I wasn't scared because I was relieved to know what was wrong with me. In retrospect, the list of symptoms is staggering.  The loss of appetite. The constant pain.  The back pain, the knee pain. The foot pain. The fatigue. The "morning sickness" - heaving for almost 30 minutes every morning.  And finally the inability to breathe.  That was scary.  Imagine going to physical therapy being tired all the time.  Steroid injections in my back and my knees.  1 (one) dialysis treatment and all the symptoms went away. Whoa!!

The Stylistics, "Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart).  Loved this group the first time I heard them.  Anyway, once I got out of ICU and into a regular hospital room (3 days later), Brian brought me the iPad. Let the research marathon begin!  I must add that I don't recall much education about End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) or dialysis while in the hospital or from the health professionals. Heh. They asked a lot of questions though. I even had to ask for a dietician before I was discharged.  I was sent to get the chest catheter.  I had no idea what that was. I ended up asking the person who inserting it about it.  

When a representative came to schedule a fistula, I had no idea what he was talking about.  Once he told me what it was I declined to go. Not because I just didn't want it, but I was betting on this kidney thing being temporary...acute.  Alas it's chronic. 

The Isley Brothers, "Make Me Say It Again Girl (Part 1 and 2). Squee!  I finally go to dialysis at the clinic. What is this place?  Who are these people. So many people and machines.   I got a tech who explained the machines.  My doctor shows up and explains my labs.  But still, the bulk of my information comes from the internet...websites, message boards renal diet sites. I eventually start asking good questions based on what I've been reading.  Now I am informed, but there are those who are infinitely more informed than me.   And that's ok. 

So today. What happened. My venous access (buttonhole) is a problem to all but the most experienced. And it seems to get worse than better.  Fact: buttonholes use blunt needles. On Monday,   A tech who has come to assist decides the use a sharp needle to redo the venous.  I'm skeptical.  Well I was right to be skeptical. *sigh*. Today, I told a stick team member about it. She got pissed and said that should never happen and informed me that a new button hole will have to be established.  Yeah.  I got pissed also. So a sharp is inserted for a venous access and it gets infiltrated. ;-(  What iis infiltrated you ask?  It means the needle has dislodge and blood leaks into the surrounding tissue.  Sigh. It hurts and my fat arm is even fatter.  I have an ice pack on it. Ugh. 

The Delphonics, "Trying to Make a Fool of Me". Again, what's a Delfonic?  Lol. So the now.  Life on dialysis is ok. It's clearly better than the alternative. But the complications are always looking over my shoulder.  Like the fluid overload, trouble breathing and now the (painful) infiltration. Trying to keep my spirits up. Some days it's just hard.  Well I am looking forward to the Zoo walk. Here's hoping I'll feel better on Sunday. 

Signing off with Jill Scott with Anthony Hamilton, "So In Love". Watch out for the weather. Again. Random thought. I'm not that tall. 5'5.  Yet it throws me for a loop when I'm standing in a group of women and I'm the tallest...by far!  Lol.  :-D