The "Even If I Push, I Still Have Failed Kidneys", edition.

Bah. Today could be better. My left upper arm/shoulder hurts. It's remeniscent of the frozen shoulder I had about 7 years ago, but I don't think it's frozen shoulder. At least I hope not. Ugh. That was not fun. At any rate, I can't move my left arm too much right now. It hurts. I didn't go to water aerobics today. I wonder if the warm water may have helped, but I can't raise my arm above my head. Getting dressed was a challenge. I hate this. And as much as I hate this I need to cut my pity party short. Do I think this has something to do with my ESRD?  Maybe. This started after I had the fistulagram and angioplasty on my fistula. I know. You say what the heck are you talking about?  My fistula needed to be expanded. It's an artificial artery in my arm and it just needs periodic maintenance so it doesn't close in on itself. Hence the angioplasty. Inserting a ballon inside the vein to expand it. So yeah. The pain in The arm started after the angioplasty. I talked to my nephrologist and nurses about it.  They told me to take Tylenol. :-/  If the pain continues, I'll escalate this. 

On the scale of people with End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD), I'm doing well. Quite well, actually. And even better since I started home hemodialysis. But I read about my fellow dialysis warriors who have other chronic issues. Our lives sometimes seem to revolve around doctors, appointments, hospitals and surgeries.  Early on, that was exactly my life. The only time I left the house was to go to the dialysis center, doctors offices or hospitals. It gets depressing. We fight off depression constantly, but sometimes you can't fight it anymore.  Life as we knew it ended. People get tired easily. Walking is a chore. Standing for over two minutes can seem impossible. Blood pressures all over the board. Diet is restricted. Fluids are restricted. You try limiting yourself to 32 ounces a day. Especially when you realize most servings are 12 ounces. And this includes fluids from fruits and vegetables. Forget about soup. 

So when you read about me and my escapades, remember that I am not representative of people with ESRD.  Also remember that I still have bad days. And remember that I cry  because  this is not the life I planned to have. And remember the older you get, the chances of you having kidney issues increase. If you take high blood pressure medication or have diabetes you are at risk for kidney failure. Don't ever think that failed kidneys is easy. There is no cure. None.  NONE. Once your kidneys have failed, they cannot be fixed. You have 3 options. Transplant, dialysis or death. 

Well that's it for today. Today is a dialysis off day. And my left arm hurts like hell. How sucky is that?  Well, I'm going to see what trouble I can get into even though my arm is not cooperating  today. It's too nice outside to have an extended pity party. I need to get Easter decorations and do the place settings for my Easter dinner..  Carl, Pauline and her friend and Dad, Brian and Me. I'm thinking little Easter baskets with 1 egg, a small chocolate bunny and Brian wants me to add jelly beans. Lol. Remember  the average age of my guests is over 80.  Lol. Yeah, I already purchased small Lindt chocolate bunnies. 

:-D

Take care.  Have a great day.