The "November 2, 2012", edition.

Three years. Three years ago today my life changed forever. November 2, 2012 was a Friday. I'd been to my doctor earlier in the week and he had scheduled me for tests on Friday, November 2, 2012. I must add that I had not been able to climb the stairs to my bedroom that week and has taken to sleeping in the downstairs bedroom. By Friday, I couldn't move. All I could do was curl up in a fetal ball. Brian was trying to get me to get ready to go to the appointment. Getting out of the bed proved to be too much. Getting dressed seemed like walking 2000 miles. Uphill.  Wearing cement boots. I knew I needed to go to get the tests, but I just couldn't move. And then I couldn't breathe. You know what it's like when you choke while drinking or while eating? That's what it felt like. Except there was nothing to remove or cough up. I couldn't catch  my breath. That's when Brian called EMS. 

The EMTs gave me oxygen.  Hoisted me up in gurney, covered me in a blanket and loaded me into the truck. Sinai Grace moved me along fairly quickly. Took tests. Tried to make me drink lotion(?). I had one more episode where I couldn't breathe.  Then someone came in and said my kidneys failed. I clearly didn't know what that meant, but I do recall thinking that at least I knew what my problem was. I was told I needed emergency dialysis. Again, I didn't know what that meant, but if it was going to make me feel better I was all for it. I recall going to a holding room with Brian and then I got moved to ICU and basically remembering nothing after that. The nurses moved me from the gurney to the bed. I remember being washed and that's it. The next day I woke up with a catheter in my groin. This catheter was my lifeline for dialysis. Ugh. I had the catheter in my groin, a catheter for my bladder, an IV and hooked up to a machine that continually took my blood pressure. I remember being incredibly weak. So weak that when I was thirsty, I couldn't  even reach the nurse call button and my voice was too weak to call for a nurse. :-/   I do need to add that ICU nurse was fantastic!  

Well. Now it's November 2, 2015. What a difference 3 years make. I'm still on dialysis. Waiting for a kidney transplant. I have no idea when or if I'll ever get a call for a kidney. I'm existing. I can say a lot of platitudes about how dialysis is allowing me to live my life, and it it is, but it sure the big ass elephant in the room. Spontaneity is out. I have to do serious planning to do anything. I have real impressive medical bills. I'm susceptible to any bug or virus that comes close to me. But I'm alive. Yay?  

Well this sounds maudlin and ungrateful. It is depressing, but I'm pushing through. Look. Enjoy your life. Do what you can to stay healthy. For my part I'm trying to make sure you don't let your kidneys fail.  Mine were pretty much doomed to fail, but protect yourself. Keep you blood pressure down. Keep your diabetes under control. Watch your intact of NSAIDs, like Celebrex. And. Get checked up on a regular basis. 

And yes, I'm slowly getting better.  This has lasted a long time, but the appetite is slowly returning. And now I just want to be less tired. I'm working on it. Have a great day and enjoy your life.