The "I'm Missing Out and It Makes Me Sad", edition.

Good Thursday morning!  My life sucks. I mean I'm alive and doing stuff, but it really sucks. I'm ( and Brian, bless his heart) are desperately trying to do stuff to make it seem seem my life is ok and normal, but in reality, my life sucks. I'm looking at photos of the AKA boule in Atlanta. I'd have loved to attend, but the logistics were insurmountable. I'd have to ship and lug my dialysis equipment with me. I'd have to do treatment almost every night. I'd probably be too tired or weak to move around much...and the number of activities and people moving here and there looked way to fomidible for someone like me who tires easily. Navigating the hotels and meeting locations would be overwhelming. My life sucks. 

We have a Perry family reunion at during Labor Day weekend. The logistics just don't allow me to attend. NxStage doesn't deliver the dialysis equipment for less than 3 days. And I wouldn't need 3 days worth of equipment for this trip.  Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  Maybe Monday. I never go more than one day without treatment. Never. It's life threatening. Dad is going and Shawn will drive from Illinois to Ohio for the reunion. I can't go. My life sucks. 

I've been going to deep water fitness and a personal trainer to increase my strength and stamina and to lose weight. However, my blood pressure is so low that standing for long periods of time makes me light headed. Some of my routines with the personal trainer almost make me pass out. So right now I'm doing stuff on the floor. At least we're working my core. Then even yesterday during deep water fitness, I started cramping. Geez. My life sucks. 

I do treatment every day of the week except Wednesday and Saturday. No exceptions. No vacations. I've drug Brian into this treamptemnt hell. He gets no vacation from this either. So now, not only does my life suck, Brian gets to have a sucky life also. Ugh. And then.  And then!  Much too often I have the audacity to feel bad on those off days, so nothing gets done. My life sucks. 

Well. Look. Take care of yourselves. Enjoy your lives. Get your selves checked up periodically. Make sure your body parts are ok. Don't let your life suck.