People don't want to go to treatment. Some for the day or some just want to quit. That comes up often. I understand and don't judge. There have been people who just gave up and went to hospice. And we never hear from them again. Members get upset and try to talk the person out of their decision. My take is, I really don't know what that person is going through. I clearly have bad days and some nights I hope I don't wake up. We also get daily updates on partners and children dying. And people who have left for the center via EMS, never to return. Death is constant and unrelenting. As is suffering on scales that seems incomprehensible.
There are many discussions and arguments about the different modalities...home hemodialysis, incenter hemodialysis, peritoneal dialysis and nocturnal dialysis. Oh yeah. I haven't talked about nocturnal have I? I won't go into detail right now , but yeah, it's nightly. Again, people get passionate about their modalities. I try hard to not judge people because they are afraid. I got over my fear and squeamishness because I knew home hemo is better for me. But I understand the hesitation of others.
Someone mentioned the dirty looks they get when the park in a handicap space or when they need to use the electric carts in a store. Most of us don't look handicapped. But trust me. We get tired. We are weak. We try. People also post some pretty graphic scars and procedures. Or lots of bloody photos. And a few people get upset. But here's the thing. The photos are a part of dialysis. We have some pretty gnarly surgeries. And can have some pretty ugly side effects. Our bodies get ravaged. Needle tracks and aneurysms. And the photos may be hard to look at, but it's part of the package. Sorry. Lots of blood doesn't faze me. And the other day when Brian forgot to clamp one of my lines, we had a fine bloody mess. Eh. It happens.
I'm not sure Brian is used to seeing me pick the scabs off my buttonholes. Or watching me insert the needles. And he doesn't flinch when I have trouble finding the track and it looks like I'm stabbing myself haphazardly. It's just part of the process. And clearly not for the faint of heart. My virtual warriors, we support each other. When no one else understands what we're going through, we have each other. And 2 of the groups have over 10,000 members. That a lot of dialysis.
So it's Valentines Day weekend. We're going out for dinner on Saturday, my night off from home hemo. That's about it. The weather is gorgeous. Unseasonably warm. :-) People are wearing shorts. This. This is why I moved out here. Love. It!!!! Lol. Have a great weekend!!! Oh and let me state...I'm doing ok today. Really. Just being thoughtful about dialysis and what others are experiencing. We really don't know what others are going through. Please don't judge.